Last year I had visited Italy with a good friend of mine. We spent a couple of days in Florence and a couple of days in Rome. If I am honest Florence truly was not my cup of tea. It was incredibly beautiful, but too quiet in for my liking. You could imagine my joy as we rolled into Rome and the hustle and bustle of city life met my ears. Rome was simply fabulous.
We did all the touristy things in Rome, ate too much ice cream (I’m sorry Gelato) and pizza. Eventually we made our way to the Vatican. We amazingly saw the Pope give a Homily and toured outside and inside the Cathedral. Now, I am a religion scholar. I have heard many stories about both Rome and the Roman Catholic Church. Some stories I reflect on with awe and others to which I have harsh criticisms. Needless to say that though the Vatican was amazingly beautiful I felt uncomfortable being there. It was incredibly daunting.
As we walked in I decided to seat myself with other seekers and pray. As I knelt I remember saying, “God. Here we are. In the Vatican. We tell such grand stories about this place, but we also know how many heinous crimes have been perpetuated by this institution. I know, it aided humanitarian good too. But in the Western World this place has been a political entity in and of itself, responsible of tremendous manslaughter and tyranny over those who do not align itself to its empire. How can you be the God of this place?”
I read many Catholic thinkers whom I respect, but in all this has always been my critique of religion. Religion provides meaningful narratives to which one can align their life and fine language for their experiences; but it also acts as an institution and institutions always live to perpetuate their own existence. And yes, it was wonderful to stand in the Vatican, I am sure it was very moving for many Catholics and I would not want to take that away from them. But for me… it was sad. A legacy of great triumph, but also the markers of a history that has so easily aligned the divine with violence, and often perpetuated it.
My attempt in this article is not to overwhelm an individual with a bloody history, but to acknowledge that this history is there and it mars the land in which we live. In light of this we must ask, “Who do we believe God to be?” and do our institutions align to the vision that we desire. I typically hate laying all my cards out on the table when I am pushing someone to expand their religious thought processes, however today I will share my own thoughts. I think the Gospels tell a passionate story where Jesus is crucified at the hands of a violent humanity. And despite human violence He does not retaliate. He absorbs human violence and casts a vision of a new world, one in which peace reigns between those of different classes, races and religious groups. Thus, at least for Christians, it is completely inappropriate to align the Christ figure with one of political dominance. But in the period of Western History he has been named as such, and treated as such, and the price of this has been blood.
I thought a lot about this while in the Vatican, and of course long afterwards. I have no answers, but I don’t think “answers” are always necessary. Sometimes recognizing the issue is the strongest indicator of change. When we recognize how easily fallible we are as people and how we can use our resources violently against one another we cannot “unsee it.” My prayer is this seeing and knowing can help create more peaceful tomorrows. More peaceful institutions and sincere repentance from our pasts.
Also… Here is a picture of me at the Colosseum, our ice cream and the pizza! Sorry that there are no pictures from the actual Vatican… I was too busy having an existential crisis…. 😀
