“Unused creativity is not benign. It metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgment, sorrow, shame.” — Brené Brown
Expressing your creativity isn’t a luxury. It’s a necessity for a joyous life.
In this blog post, I’ll share why I believe that—personally, professionally, and now as a rogue creative who can’t keep her thoughts to herself. Muahaha.
Okay Jiwan, focus.
The other night, I went out with friends and shared some struggles I’ve been going through lately. Missing my family. Feeling alone in Germany. Wondering where I belong—here or there.
My friend was considerate and kind. He’s wiser, older, more mature—blah blah blah—and he offered the kind of advice wise older people tend to:
“Don’t worry, Jiwan. These things work themselves out. Over time, as you get older, become a parent, the family dynamics shift. Your needs change. You won’t feel as vulnerable anymore.”
At least, that’s the gist of what he said.
TBH, I was inebriated and in the middle of trauma-dumping, so some of the nuance and wisdom probably got filtered out through my reptilian brain…
But that’s not the point.
The point is: I don’t believe that.
I mean—I want to. It’s what people have always told me:
It gets better.
Hold on.
Keep going.
But I just can’t believe it anymore—and I think it’s because of two experiences I can’t let go of, even when I try.
You see, coming to Germany has been hard. Yes, because moving countries is hard.
But also, because I’ve been grieving.
Last year, I lost two people I loved deeply. We were already estranged—but I realized that reconciliation was probably never going to happen. I lost them to addiction, mental health struggles, and a sea-bed of trauma so tangled you’d need a whole lifetime just to start unraveling it.
And when I hear advice like “it gets better,” all I can think is: How though? I mean… where does the pain go?
Ever since I was little, I was told I was naive for focusing on people’s pain.
Stop being sensitive. Toughen up. It’s not that bad.
And I believed them.
I decided I was going to out-hustle everyone. Be the strong person people needed me to be.
But now, I see there’s a cost to that approach.
When I think about the two I lost, I don’t believe it was just about personal failings.
I think they were failed by a world that teaches us to be hard—but never teaches us how to be soft.
When I think about the two I lost, I don’t believe it was just about personal failings.
I think they were failed by a world that teaches us to be hard—but never teaches us how to be soft.
To heal.
To grow.
To survive in systems designed to keep us down.
To digest their pain and turn it into something meaningful.
Creativity isn’t just a skill. It’s how we, as humans, make meaning.
Creativity isn’t just a skill.
It’s how we, as humans, make meaning.
And if we can’t process our experiences and create something—anything—that benefits ourselves, our families, our communities… that energy dies inside us.
It metastasizes. And it turns us into uglier, more brittle versions of ourselves.
I’ve worked with domestic students, international students, inmates serving life sentences, and CEOs making eight figures—and I’ve learned this:
It doesn’t matter where you sit in the hierarchy of privilege.
If you don’t learn this skill, you will pass on your wounds.
The impact looks different depending on where you stand and who gets hit. (Of course).
But the root cause is similar: Hurt people, hurting people.
That’s why I resonate with Brené Brown’s quote so much:
“Unused creativity is not benign. It metastasizes. It turns into grief, rage, judgment, sorrow, shame.”
Because I’ve seen it. Everywhere I go.
In my business, I often talk about my own wounds around not belonging—because that’s the story I know best. But honestly, my business is inspired by all the people I’ve worked with; and the people I’ve lost.
People who saw creativity and healing as “nice-to-haves.”
And as a result, they lost the fire we all need to make life worth it:
Joy.
Purpose.
Meaning.
Connection.
That’s the problem I try to solve with my life and my work.
Before it becomes a tragedy.
Because I’m done waiting for time to heal all wounds. Here, we do it with intention. 💛🌿
Thanks for reading.
P.S. I know I said I’d write monthly… sorry about that. It just be how it be 😅